


We Will Rise

by Deathscythe_Demiguy



Series: Ashes arc [3]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, New Relationship, Non-Canon Relationship, OT3, Vomit, Whump, emetophobia warning, ooc probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2019-11-19 10:29:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18134567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathscythe_Demiguy/pseuds/Deathscythe_Demiguy
Summary: Nearly a year after Duo's death, Heero and Wufei are finally starting to heal, together. But what happens when when a discovery is made that will turn everything they thought they knew on its head? Will they hold tight to the new strength they've found in one another, or let their relationship crumble?





	1. Chapter 1: Heero

It had been a little more than 10 months since they left that burning compound without their beloved Duo. Heero wasn't quite sure when he had become theirs, his and Wufei's, but he had a feeling it was always the case. After all, they had all been friends, with each being closest to Duo. He looked over at the raven-haired pilot and felt himself smile. Wufei was snoring softly, curled into Heero's side. He idly carded his fingers through hair like spun silk and let out a breathless sigh when dark lashes fluttered open. Wufei was taking his breath away more and more as the days passed.

"I didn't mean to wake you." Heero spoke softly, pressing a kiss to Wufei's temple. His words were sincere, but he was thankful for the distraction. Reflecting for long was still too painful and he didn't want the nightmares to start full force again. Wufei was certainly a comfort, but he couldn't help feeling guilty when the dreams were at their most violent. On several occasions, the other man would have to pin him down to keep from getting hurt.

Warm lips against his pulled Heero back to the present. Wufei was pressed flush against him from chest to hip, searing warmth radiating through the shirt he still wore to bed. While his scent no longer lingered there, Heero knew Wufei wore it to keep Duo close the only way he was able. Heero slid a hand up the back of the loose fabric as he deepened the kiss, needing to feel that he was real and alive. Heero still had trouble at times remembering it was only Duo that died that night.

When they pulled apart, Wufei wore that sad little smile that told Heero his partner had been thinking of Duo, as well. The closer they got, the deeper the man seemed to fall into his grief. They'd been isolated without missions for the last few months and it was getting to them both. They'd fled the last town, nearly getting shot out of the air, but they'd lost contact with the other pilots and had no orders to follow. No self-imposed orders either.

Without the flow of missions and communication from their companions they had each other and their grief to pass the days until the war ended or swallowed them whole. The passivity was making Heero crazy. He needed to do something, be something more for everyone. For Duo, and for Wufei. Especially for the raven-haired pilot. Chang was intelligent and strong, his sense of duty and justice were unwavering, emotions boiling just under the surface. He deserved more than the death and destruction of a seemingly endless war and Heero was determined to make a life for them both. 

Willing away his thoughts, Heero focused his attention on his bedmate once again. He leaned over Wufei and kissed him deeply. Morning breath be damned, Heero needed this, needed to feel himself swallowed up by Wufei’s presence. Wufei's arms wrapped around him, one hand coming to rest at the back of his neck and the other snaking around to his lower back, pushing them flush against each other. When their hips met, Heero moaned into the kiss, giving Wufei the chance to take over control of the kiss. Wufei ground his hips upward and wrapped a leg around Heero's.

Heero broke the kiss to gasp into his love's shoulder, peppering it with open-mouthed kisses and stopping to suck at the point where neck and shoulder met. The hand around his back clenched against him, nails digging in as he coaxed moans from the man beneath him. Wufei’s hand tightened painfully in his hair and Heero hissed as he was jerked upward so his partner could crush their lips together in a violent kiss. Heero pulled away to observe the beauty beneath him, panting harshly from the intensity of their kiss.  
Wufei's kiss-bruised lips were parted as he panted gently. His dark hair had come loose from headband he wore to sleep, he couldn't stand hair in his face, and Heero reached out to brush it back from his sweat-damp skin. His hand came to rest against a cheek stained a deep pink, making those sharp obsidian eyes stand out in contrast. Heero's hand followed that flush down Wufei's neck, brushing his thumbnail over the warm skin of a collar bone and earning a sharp intake of breath.

A hand came up around the back of Heero's neck again, pulling his lips down to replace his hand at the raven-haired man's collarbone. "Oh 'Ro, yesss." The groan of the man under him had Heero grinning against his chest. Heero slipped down further, pushing the fabric of Wufei's shirt up over caramel colored nipples and slipping his mouth over one, then the other enjoying how it made his partner whine and squirm. He hadn't thought Wufei would be vocal, but once he'd gotten comfortable Heero had been pleased to find that he was actually pretty loud. Mostly curses or pleas in Chinese, though he did catch gasps and groans that sounded suspiciously like his name.

This was as far as either of them dared go up to this point, but when Heero studied his lover's face, he saw only need and affection. Then the hand fisted in his hair was back, tugging him down, then pushing his head level with Wufei's navel. Heero's eyes darted up to Wufei's in surprise and he moaned at the intensity he found there. "Are you-" Heero began before being promptly cut off. "Damn sure, Yuy!" Wufei practically snarled before catching himself and softening his tone. "If you want to. I don't, what I mean to say is, if you aren't ready I can- Oh FUCK Heero!"

While the man under him was trying to give Heero a way out he had reached into the ragged cutoff sweats Wufei wore, pulled out his erection, and swallowed him whole. Gods! Heero hadn't known that he'd wanted this so badly until he could taste the salt of Wufei's skin and feel the velvet skin beneath his tongue move over the engorged flesh beneath. He moaned around the length and Wufei threw a hand over his mouth to muffle its echo.

He pulled back, running his tongue around the glans and flicking it across the slit to taste him before swallowing him down and groaning as he roughly fisted his own erection. He was smaller than Duo had been and Heero had no trouble taking him in fully, even being out of practice. Heero could feel Wufei tensing beneath him, trembling with the effort it took not to buck up into his mouth. Heero knew the other man wouldn't last much longer. If he was honest, neither would he. It occurred to Heero that this was likely the first time he'd ever been given a blow job and he moaned again at the thought of being the first one to touch Wufei this way.

The hand around his cock was moving with practiced ease as his other hand moved to cup at Wufei's balls, feeling them tense and wrinkle against his callused palms. By now Wufei was thrusting up into his mouth and murmuring curses against the hand still over his mouth. Suddenly the hand in his hair tugged him up and nearly off as Wufei struggled to get out a warning of "Fuck! Close , 'Ro." Heero's eyes snapped up to meet lust clouded obsidian and held Wufei's gaze as he swallowed him down, twisting his head slightly and curling his tongue around the shaft.

Heero moaned around Wufei as the base of his cock pulsed in his mouth. He pulled back slightly, hand flying over his own erection, desperate for release. Eyes still locked in place, Heero didn't think he'd ever forget the look of startled horror and pure pleasure in Wufei's eyes as he came with a strangled yell into Heero's mouth. Heero swallowed around him and sat back on his heels in time to finish with a low moan deep in his chest. Spent, Heero let his hand slip down to rest on his thigh as he sank back into the mattress, legs still spread. He didn't think he had ever come so hard in his life and it took several moments for him to regain his bearings.

Wufei was kissing him roughly the minute he sat up, mumbling between kisses about that being the most erotic display he'd ever seen. Beyond anything he'd ever imagined. Then he was gone from the bed, but returned with a couple damp flannels before Heero could sit up. He ran the warm wet cloth over Heero's already soft cock, through dark curls, and across his abdomen and legs. Heero took it and wiped at his hand while Wufei cleaned himself up.

"Off." Wufei said simply, motioning for Heero to leave the bed. Still dazed, Heero obeyed without hesitation. Wufei threw the sheet they'd been on top of in a crumpled heap on the floor, tossing the messy flannels on top and kicking the pile to the side. Heero crawled back into bed, resting on just the bottom sheet while Wufei grabbed a duvet and pulled it over them both.

Settled in bed again, Wufei turned to him and spoke. "Heero, that was incredible." He sounded so amazed, almost star-struck, that Heero chuckled and brought him in for a gentle kiss. They held each other's gaze for a long moment, until Wufei's eyes were forced shut by a wide yawn. "Looks like we're both worn out, 'Fei." Heero said softly before hunkering down in the blanket and pressing himself to his lover.

As much as he wanted to stay awake and enjoy the moment, Heero couldn't keep his eyes open. He'd been up with nightmares most of the night and after that shattering orgasm, he was exhausted. "Love you." He felt more than heard the words against his hair. He wanted to reach up and kiss him, tell him how much he meant to Heero now, Make love with him. But his body wouldn't cooperate and he ended up slurring "Love you, too." into Wufei's chest as he fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Wufei

It wasn’t that Wufei regretted what they had done in the early morning hours. He didn’t. But he was keenly aware that Heero had learned everything he’d done from Duo. He had gotten to kiss and touch and learn everything Duo could offer from experience. Wufei was jealous, almost angry. Not at Heero, just at the universe for taking Duo and leaving him here to imagine what things could have been. But he had been with Heero anyway, so he still would have been silently pining. 

Looking over at his lover, Wufei smiled. The man was on his side, forehead pressed against Wufei’s shoulder, messy hair wilder than usual. His lips were parted just a bit and still slightly swollen from their earlier activities. Wufei felt himself twitch at the memory of those lips around him, cobalt eyes almost black with desire. Duo had likely taught him the technique, but the execution was purely Heero.

Since Meilan, he hadn’t let anyone touch him like this, and they hadn’t tried this sort of thing. He had loved her, yes, but they’d never shared anything as intimate as what he had with Heero. Wufei wasn’t sure what exactly made things feel so intense. At first, he was sure it was just loss but it had been nearly a year since Duo and they had only grown closer. 

The feeling was unsettling for him. Having so many feelings in general was unsettling, and the rapid loss of control both he and Heero had over those emotions was downright terrifying. This wasn’t something gundam pilots did. Well, maybe Quatre and Duo. And even then, Duo hadn’t been this forthright with his emotions. Once he’d chosen someone to trust they still had to work a bit for what he’d show. 

Wufei had grown up in a culture where affection was private and love wasn’t necessarily the goal of a coupling. Intimacy emotional or otherwise, was just not discussed. He didn’t think he’d ever seen his family even share a tender look. He and Meilan had slept in separate rooms most of the time. They were both so private. This wasn’t normal for him, intense affection and a desire to bare his soul to another person. 

Duo had started breaking him of his reserved nature and prudishness from the first day they met. But he hadn’t really let himself be vulnerable until the end. He’d only just started opening up to his best friend. He’d never been this open until after Duo, though. At first, it was because he couldn’t control his emotions after being tortured for days with no sleep, numerous injuries, and having just seen the man he was secretly in love with die right there with him. He couldn’t hide his grief from anyone who might have been around and he had been so ashamed around anyone but Heero. 

The Wing pilot had seen in him immediately the same grief and knew. He felt guilty for having loved the man that belonged to Heero, but they both knew Duo really didn’t belong to anyone but himself. Heero’s willingness to lean on one another is what really brought Wufei out of his shell in this irreversible way. Carding fingers through the messy brown locks, Wufei wondered just when he had fallen so completely for the man beside him. And when Heero had fallen for him. He didn’t think he could forget those sleep-slurred words and how he’d only heard the other man so tender with Duo. 

Wufei extricated himself from his lover’s grasp, and padded to the kitchen to start the kettle for tea. The sun was already bright and well on its way to midpoint in the sky. He hadn’t meant to sleep so late. He needed time to meditate after what had happened. He needed time to sort through what was happening, they were still gundam pilots, even abandoned as they were. Wufei really needed to get himself together.  
Meditation had proved difficult, and he had moved on to forms, finding that exercise was nearly as effective. He was just finishing up when Heero slipped outside to join him with a steaming cup in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Wufei accepted the bottle, wiping sweat out of his eyes with the front of his black exercise tank. Heero settled on the grass, staring off at nothing. “Have you reconsidered our coupling?” Wufei’s gaze shot to Heero so fast that he thought he may have whiplash. 

The other pilot’s tone was cold and the mask Wufei thought was gone for good had slipped over his stony features. Had Heero? Perhaps his feelings had changed? Or maybe he hadn’t meant the words for Wufei. Of course he hadn’t, Wufei silently berated himself. It had only been a few months since the death of his boyfriend. Okay, more than a few. Ten agonizing months, but Wufei still felt the tug of grief in everything he did without Duo in this world. That must be it, Wufei thought bitterly. Heero hadn’t intended to say it back, maybe didn’t even remember hearing the words in the first place. So now he had come her intending to- to what, exactly? 

Wufei hadn’t realized he was running until he collapsed, gasping, at the foot of Shenlong where it was still hidden, vegetation growing through its joints and creeping over the surface. His gundam was hidden enough to almost be invisible, and he was a little surprised to see how quickly the earth could reclaim what she wanted. Even gundanium wasn’t completely invulnerable to her power. He let out a shuddering sob, suddenly struck by the thought that anything left of Duo was long gone now, broken down and washed away. 

Without Heero, he wouldn’t have any part of the other pilot left. But he wasn’t interested. What they’d done, what Wufei had said, It had been too much too soon and now things were over between them. Choking on his tears, Chang let out an anguished cry at his own foolishness. He had opened himself up to this. He had lef himself vulnerable, and now every nerve felt raw. How could he have been so stupid? One fist, then the other hit the hull of his decaying gundam. 

When he was bloody and spent, and the metal beneath his bloody fingers bore a light dappling of dents, Wufei closed his eyes and leaned back against his decaying alter-ego. He wasn’t ready to go back to the safe house. Back to Heero. Back to that lonely room he’d tossed and turned in for the first night. He had become weak, running from his problems like Maxwell. That braided idiot had completely changed him, and Wufei wasn’t sure how he was supposed to make it in this world without him and without Heero. 

It sounded dramatic, even to Wufei, but he was serious. Duo had cracked his shell and left him vulnerable. Heero had left him raw. Treize was dead, but still came out of it a victor. His gundam had fallen into disrepair. He had grown soft and weak. He was no use as a pilot. He was a disgrace to his clan. His wife was dead. What was left? 

The sky was dark, night chill, when Wufei woke up. He moved to push himself up and winced at the ache in his hands. He couldn’t see them clearly, but he was sure they were quite swollen and bruised. As he walked, the night dew collected on the tops of his bare feet and soaked the hem of his pants. It was time to face the mess he’d gotten himself into. He had been weak and it was his responsibility to own up to his transgressions. 

He paused at the edge of the woods, still concealed by the thick brush that separated the safe house from the clearing he had just crossed. Heero was outside, pacing the rear perimeter. His gait was tense, one hand on his holster, the other shoved into tangled brown hair. The mask he wore earlier, Wufei had realized then that indeed had been a mask, had slipped away and even from this distance Wufei could see the panic in the other pilot’s eyes. 

Stepping out into the small yard of the house, Wufei barked out a greeting? Maybe a warning? “Yuy, its Chang.” Heero had his weapon trained on Wufei the moment he stepped out of the brush, but quickly let it drop at the other pilot’s words. Heero froze then, entire body going rigid. The ice prince mask was back, but Wufei could still feel the anger and residual fear radiating off him. Wufei had made a mistake, he was sure now. Just not the one he thought. 

He had been hot-headed and mistrustful. Heero hadn’t been with anyone but Duo, and Wufei was suddenly acutely aware of a memory he had tried to forget. The first time he and Heero had- been intimate, Heero had left the braided pilot’s bed and returned to his room to work on a program. Duo had been in near hysterics, sobbing to Wufei that Heero had “fucked and run” and how stupid he’d been to think Heero could want him. 

This was the only relationship Heero had been in other than Duo. It hit Wufei like a mac truck that Heero remembered that interaction and must have applied it to what Wufei had done that morning. Heero had been vulnerable and raw, and woken up alone. And Wufei had hardly acknowledged the other until he spoke. Heero wasn’t asking as a way to let Wufei know he wanted out. Wufei quickened his pace, reaching his lover in three strides.

Wufei closed the distance, crushing his mouth to the other man’s, taking his surprise as opportunity to slip his tongue out to soothe at Heero’s worry-chapped lip, pulling Heero flush against him. He struggled for half a beat and then Heero was heavy against him, arms snaking around waist and shoulder. The kiss was deep and rough and hungry. Heero bit at Wufei’s bottom lip, breaking skin with a growl. 

How had Wufei been so foolish. He was sure it was Heero that had left him raw and broken when he had been the one doing just that to Heero. He hissed sharply as he was pushed to the grass and his left hand was crushed in a pinning grip. Heero immediately recoiled, having felt the swelling and the crunch of misaligned bone. “What the fuck did you DO out there, Fei?” His tone was angry, but Wufei saw those cobalt eyes crinkle in worry. 

As much as he wanted to pull Heero back to the damp grass and sooth him with rough kisses and claiming bites, he really did need to tend to his hands. Something was definitely broken in his left, and the right throbbed with his heartbeat. They really needed to talk anyway. They should have done this ages ago. He might not have jumped to such wild conclusions if they had. 

Heero pulled him up by the elbow and walked ahead to pull the med kit out of the bathroom. Wufei sat at the counter, leaning one forearm on the cool stone as he balanced on the slightly unsteady bar stool. Heero sat across from him and began unpacking things. One knuckle on his right hand was split wide, several were swollen and black. His left was much worse. Heero would have to clean away the blood and dirt to even assess the damage. 

“The left, something’s broken or dislocated at least.” Wufei admits, not making eye contact. “What did you-” Heero paused and took a breath. When he started again, Wufei thought he sounded less angry. “How did you do this much damage?” He pulled gently at each finger, feeling along the length and up into the hand as he spoke. Wufei bit his lip to keep from making a sound. When Heero pressed at a knuckle and tugged it back into place, Wufei bit down hard into his lip and blood dribbled down his chin. 

Heero stood suddenly, slamming a hand down as the stool he was sitting on toppled over behind him. “Jesus fucking Christ Chang! If you don’t stop that, I’ll kill you!” Wufei immediately released his lip, but couldn’t help the grin that tugged at its edges. Heero stalked off to grab a small basin to clean his wounds in and a few flannels to wash them with.


	3. Chapter 3: Heero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately, and I'm actually sick with some virus right now, so this chapter is not my best work. Mostly some horribly OOC moments, but I hope you still find it enjoyable.

Wufei was going to get it. Heero was going to tend his wounds like the perfect soldier he used to be , and when he was fit, Heero would kill him himself. He did his best to fight down the voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Duo when Heero had refused to take it easy after a mission. Or when he self destructed, or tried to anyway. This wasn’t the same. He angrily slammed open a cabinet and pulled out a small basin and some antiseptic soap.

First, he has the audacity to tell Heero he loves him. Then he leaves the man in bed alone after they essentially have sex for the first time, and he says he loves him. Then he fucking runs away for the entire day. Heero paused his internal rant and reached to the top of the stack of towels for the softer flannels. Then comes home covered in dirt and sticks and bloody bruises after making Heero worry that he had left for good or been attacked and captured and tortured somewhere. And that fucking kiss!

All Heero could think was that he’d made a mistake somewhere and pushed Wufei away. That he had taken things too far or he’d been too open or done something. He fucked up all the time with Duo, but at least the idiot would tell him before he disappeared for a few hours. Wufei ran away and left him worrying for the entire day. And the bruises and dislocations? Heero still wasn’t sure what Wufei had done, but seeing the state he was in, smelling blood and dirt and sweat, brought Heero right back to that cell he watched Duo die in. 

Heero’s fist stopped just short of slamming into the glass of the bathroom mirror. He would not allow his emotions to take over here. He would use logic and reason and all the patience he had been gifted by being Duo’s partner to figure out what had happened here. Hopefully to find a solution? 

Heero was angry, and hurt if he was honest, but he didn’t think he could give up what was growing between them. He hadn’t been lying when he admitted his feelings for the raven-haired man, though he probably wouldn’t have admitted them so readily if not for the fatigue and his sated state. He wasn’t sure Wufei had meant what he’d said, anyway. No. That wasn’t right. He thought Wufei hadn’t meant to say what he had out loud. 

Materials gathered, Heero returned to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway. Wufei’s gaze was fixated on the stool laying on its side half way between the living room and kitchen, but the corners of his swollen mouth were turned up slightly, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. Heero thought that Wufei might have recognized the tone he’d used as one they both regularly used on Duo when he was on about one of his hellish ‘plans’ that was liable to get them all blown up.

His small snort brought piercing onyx eyes level with his gaze, and in the next instant, a swollen and bloody mouth was on his own. This time the kiss was gentle and slow, mostly just lips, but Heero held his gaze until Wufei stepped back. “I was foolish.” The man’s voice was quiet, but he kept his eyes on Heero’s. Was this his way of apologizing? He wasn’t sure that was enough, but the rattle of supplies in his basin reminded Heero that his priority was tending to his lover’s wounds. 

Setting to work, he filled the basin with fairly hot water and antiseptic, tossing a couple of the flannels in to soak. “Sit.” He motioned to the empty stool, waiting to see Wufei obey before retrieving his own and having a seat himself. Heero took one of the wet cloths and pressed an edge of it, still dripping, to the open wound on his partner’s left hand. Wufei hissed quietly, but took care not to bite into his lip again when Heero cut his eyes up in a quick glare. 

“You really did a number on yourself, Chang Wufei.” Heero’s mouth turned up in a near-feral grin as he pushed a clean section of the cloth into the wound, removing bits of grass, shiny flecks of paint, and dried blood. By the time Heero had done the entire hand and finished up a few stitches, Wufei was panting lightly with the effort it took to keep from reacting to the pain. Watching the tiny flecks sink to the bottom of the red-tinged water in the basin, Heero remembered where he’d seen chips of paint like that before. “You punched a gundam when we have perfectly adequate work out gear here, Chang? You must be slipping.” Wufei let out a strangled snarl, but never got out a protest when his eyes made it to Heero’s face.

Heero was smirking now, eyes bright with mirth and a bit of residual anger. Wufei had been remarkably easy to bait, and Heero had a feeling it was because the other man felt guilty. Good. He deserved to feel just a little bad about the situation he had caused. Heero deftly bandaged the wounds and moved on to Wufei’s less-injured right hand. Mostly dirt and bruises, Heero decided to take his time checking for damage. He knew the pain would throw the pilot off enough to keep him honest when Heero brought up what he was planning to. 

“What was that about out there this morning? Woke up alone, brought you a drink, and you barely acknowledged I was there. Then you take off into the woods when I ask what’s wrong.” Heero pressed into a particularly dark bruise and was not surprised to find a small lump in the bone there. “Fractured.” he grunted. “You didn’t ask what was wrong! You asked if I’d reconsidered! After we- after I’d- You really do sound like Duo right now!” Wufei stopped, taking a few calming breaths as Heero struggled not to let himself look too pleased at how easily the other man had cracked. 

“I was concerned. I might have let what happened with him get into my head a little. But you fucking ran, Chang. What was I supposed to think?” Deciding that Wufei’s right hand was more or less fine, Heero pulled the man up by the elbow and to the living room. Heero sat down on the too-soft couch and pulled Wufei down on top of him. He wanted to keep his partner mentally off-balance, but found himself thrown when the man in his lap sagged against him. 

It was as if his words drained all fight, all venom from his partner. “You are right. I was- afraid, on edge.” Heero’s arms tightened instinctively around the smaller man’s back as he spoke into the crook of Heero’s neck. The hand that was idly running through silky black strands stilled as Wufei let out a shuddering breath. “I misinterpreted your question as a result. I apologize for the way I behaved, how I treated you.” The pilot nuzzled against his neck, and Heero shivered. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this oddly subdued Wufei. His partner was normally full of fire and 

Emotions exhausted him, Heero finally remembered. Even when they fought, the pilot’s emotional outbursts, particularly with Treize would leave him like this. Wufei was probably drained after the eventful evening the previous night, and the commotion going on most of this day. He was tired enough to admit defeat and apologize for what he’d done wrong. That must be it. By now, the man was practically dozing in his lap, face still buried in the crook of his neck. 

“We should sleep now.” Heero’s voice was low, but he kept it carefully neutral to avoid having his partner assume Heero thought him weak for being tired. It was unsettling to see Wufei like this, and he had a hunch that they wouldn’t get much further in the conversation anyway. When Wufei stood, Heero pressed a guiding hand to the other man’s shoulder, and led him to the room they still shared. 

Heero woke to find Wufei reading next to him, glasses slipping down his nose as he leaned in close to the page so that he could see in the dim room. “You’re awake. Good.” The words would have startled him if Heero hadn’t been watching the lips that said it. Wufei seemed to notice, because he let out a quiet chuckle and leaned in to kiss his lover soundly. “Breakfast? I know you’ll want tea, too.” Wufei said when he pulled back. Heero felt himself nod. With a quick peck to his lips the man had slipped gracefully over him and out of bed before Heero registered that Wufei had even moved. 

Now Heero was the one off-balance. Yesterday he’d doubted that they were even really together. Doubted the nature of the other’s feelings. Even after their talk, Heero didn’t feel like Wufei considered himself his significant other. And here the man was, waiting for Heero to wake up just for a good morning kiss? Offering to make them breakfast? How was it that Wufei was acting so domestic all of a sudden? 

The smell of miso wafted into his room through the slightly ajar room and Heero padded out into the kitchen to watch Wufei work. They had been living together for quite some time, but Heero hadn’t gotten much chance to really look at him. His hair was pulled up into a messy little bun as he stood over a pot on the stove, stirring with a slight frown. The kettle whistled, drawing Heero to his feet. He made them each tea and returned to his perch behind the counter. 

They ate in silence and went off to do their morning fitness routines. Heero checked his secure mail. It had been a while since he had told Quatre about Duo, about how he hadn’t heard from his commander or the other pilots in months, no missions. He didn’t expect a response, but he still checked every day. This just didn’t make sense. Had they surrendered? Been overtaken? Were Quatre and Trowa dead too? Flashes of that night had Heero gripping the desk hard enough to leave marks in the wood with his nails. A hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present. 

“They’re alright. We’re all just laying low.” Wufei reminded him, digging fingers into Heero’s knotted muscles. He sighed and let the other man massage away some of the tension and stress he was holding. They had decided everyone was just trying to stay low, since things were fairly calm for the moment. They were still needed, for now. 

The rest of the day was spent with Wufei working on his bike and Heero working out how to make a completely tamper-proof motherboard. They ate together, put on some mindless tv that reminded them of Duo, and checked their security. Wufei had already slipped into bed when Heero got there, but he hadn’t fallen asleep until Heero was beside him. He just couldn’t wrap his head around any of this. 

“What changed? You’re acting… strange.” Heero finally had enough. When the only answer was a snicker from the other side of the bed, Heero turned to glare and his breath caught in his chest. Wufei was shirtless, hair down, sheets pooled around his waist. He wore a smile that was genuine, reaching his warm black eyes. “Duo. After everything, I thought about how Duo would have handled the situation. How he handled you usually. How he’d want to see us treat the other.” His smile turned wistful and Heero reached out to cup his cheek, thumb gently stroking. Wufei was right. 

Heero pulled him in for a lingering kiss, hands moving from his cheek to nestle in his hair. Wufei moaned softly into the kiss and straddled his lover, groin to groin. They really should be talking, Heero thought as his hands roamed the hard body resting in his lap. Hands slipped from muscular shoulders down Wufei’s back to rest on lean hips. His hips lifted, bringing their erections to brush against each other through two sets of shorts. 

They really needed to talk. But as Wufei moved to suck at the pulse in Heero’s neck, leaving several dark marks, letting out a soft growl as he lapped at the sensitive flesh, Heero realized there would be very little talking that evening.


	4. Chapter 4: Wufei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so more OOC-ness and some questionable descriptions of gundam flight. I hope you enjoy anyway!

After what had happened the last time, Wufei took care to wait until Heero woke before leaving their bed. This time, Heero didn’t appear confused, and Wufei felt that the other pilot understood. Eventually he would stop this, but with things being new and more than a little tender for both of them, this would be best. He crawled out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen to make tea with the grace of a baby elephant. The previous nights activities had been harder on his body than anticipated. He was probably to blame of course. 

Heero had been eager, but gentle. Taking time to prepare him. Taking him in his mouth while pressing one lubed finger inside and gently working it around, trying to distract him by doing that thing with his tongue that made Wufei forget to breathe. When he stroked a particular spot with his finger, Wufei’s vision flashed white and he was sure he shouted in mandarin. Heero chuckled around him and he felt the vibrations through his entire body. 

By the time Heero had finished preparing, Wufei was too impatient to wait longer and straddled his lover, taking him fully in one fluid motion. He should have eased down. He knew that now. But in the moment all he could think of was how much he needed Heero, needed to affirm their relationship. Wufei needed to feel that he hadn’t ruined things with his mistakes. 

Wufei was pulled from his thoughts by a strange sound from the other room, followed by the near frantic clack of the laptop keys. Heero was sitting cross-legged on the couch, hunched over his laptop, typing furiously. When he leaned in to read over Heero’s head, Wufei was not prepared for what he found. Winner had responded. They, he and Trowa, were on a rescue mission. They weren’t given much information, just that they’d know who to bring back when they got there and to inform the other pilots to be ready in case the needed backup. ‘Mission accepted.’ He’d caught the words in Heero’s reply to Winner. 

A lot had changed, apparently. The war was on its last legs. The time was coming for them to- to what? Retire? Return to a normal civilian life they never had to begin with? Quatre assured them that there would be a place for them post-war. He had connections. He knew what was in the works. Wufei had never intended to survive the war. He hadn’t even meant to survive after Treize. 

But being with Heero over the months following Duo’s death had made him almost hopeful for the future. He and Heero were struggling to adjust without missions, but they were managing. If they could join in the effort to maintain peace when this was all over, maybe they would be alright. If Duo had been around, Wufei wouldn’t have a single doubt. 

If Duo hadn’t gotten to them at all, Wufei knew they’d both be lost causes. Heero especially. When they’d first met, he was indeed the perfect soldier. Cold, calculating, able to set aside everything for the sake of the mission. He wasn’t much better himself with his rigidity and strict adherence to justice. Hat a pair they would be if Duo hadn’t slowly chipped away at them, depositing bits of his warm personality as he went. 

Wufei huffed into his lover’s hair. He had been slipping into deep thought far too often lately. He should have been meditating or training. Or working on their gundams, he thought when his brain reminded him they might need to provide back-up. He pushed up from the back of the couch, already preparing a list of things he’d need for Nataku. He hoped he wouldn’t have to borrow from his bike. 

Wordlessly, Heero stood and packed a bag with equipment, water, and meal bars for the both of them. Wufei was digging through the parts he had collected with intent to upgrade his bike or his gundam if needed when Heero stepped out to join him. Bits of other mobile suits mostly. He grabbed what he could carry and packed his own bag. “Ready?” Wufei heard himself ask, the mission starting to sink in. “Affirmative.”

The trip to their gundams was silent, and they ended up spending the entire day getting their suits in order. At some point Heero wandered over and Wufei caught him examining something down low on Shenlong’s leg. Fingers brushed against the pockmarked metal and an expression he didn’t recognize flitted across Heero’s features before the mask slipped back into place. Wufei realized Heero knew what he’d done to his hands. Did he understand why? 

“Focus Chang.” he muttered to himself. This wasn’t their new normal. There was a mission again. They had a purpose again. Their lives no longer belonged to them. Mind back on the mission, Wufei finished up the last of the repairs. She didn’t look great, but everything was functional at least. How many times had Duo repaired Deathscythe with literal trash when the mission called for it? Not ideal, as Wufei didn’t like to half-do anything, but it would have to do. 

On the walk back, Heero fell into step with him. His eyes kept darting to Wufei’s hand and the stitches still holding closed a wound over his middle knuckle. He felt the flush of embarrassment and was thankful that it was dark. Wufei had to force himself not to jerk away when Heero’s fingers twined with his, rough palms pressing together, thumb running gently over the stitches. 

He never should have run. Or tried to read more into Heero’s question. The man was the most straightforward person on the planet. Why did he even have to have feelings like this? Damned Duo breaking down his walls, making Wufei love him. Then he had to go dying in front of him and leaving him stranded with his grieving lover. His entire life would have been so much easier if he’d never met the man. But it would also be over by now. He’d have self destructed if not for the change Duo and the other pilots had inspired in him. 

He looked at the hand in his, wondering when this feeling had become natural. Guess he should thank Duo for that one. He’d been all over everyone, and it had desensitized Wufei and Heero both enough to be able to touch without feeling uneasy. When they reached the house, they’d both collapsed into bed pressed close, knowing they may not get much rest if a distress signal came through. 

It was close to dawn when they got the call that would change everything for Wufei. Heero answered, and wufei could hear one end of what sounded suspiciously like an argument. Heero came in and thrust the phone into Wufei’s less injured hand before stalking off, slamming the door hard enough to shake the entire house. “Chang here.” His tone was harsher than he meant it, but he was unsettled by Heero’s reaction and wanted to check on the man. 

“He’s alive. We’d suspected it for a while, but the mission...Wufei. Duo is alive.” Wufei faintly registered Quatre telling him that Heero was not to be told, to tell him they were simply relocating due to a tip that their gundams had been spotted. The phone slipped from his hand and crashed to the floor. Wufei’s eyes followed the battery pack as it split off from the rest of the cell and skittered across the floor. He had to force down the bile rising in his throat. “Alive.” he repeated to himself. But he couldn’t be. Wufei had watched the man die in front of him, seen the light leave those perfect violet eyes. 

He was glaring at the battery on the floor when Heero stepped back into the room, still seething. “What are the parameters, Chang? When do we leave?” Wufei had to think, but with all his training and meditation, he still couldn’t get anything out right. “He’s at one of the Winner vacation homes.” Heero’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. “Quatre is. We are to meet him there. We’ve been spotted and should prepare for battle, but Winner wants us to keep hidden if we can.” Wufei didn’t sound convincing even to himself, but Heero just made a disgruntled noise and threw what they absolutely needed into a pack. 

Wufei registered that Quatre would be frantic trying to get back in touch. While Heero packed for them both, he assembled the phone with the intention of calling back, but the moment it turned on, Heero was back with their bags and they were on the way back to their gundams. The walk was brief. They were both working back into mission mode, and by the time they were inside their respective cockpits, Wufei’s thoughts had begun to focus in on the objective at hand. 

His mission was to lead them safely out of the area and to the next safe house, keep Heero from doing anything stupid, and get him inside without letting on that his dead lover was actually alive. Wufei didn’t know what state Duo would be in or if they would brief Heero before letting him see the braided pilot. He pushed those thoughts aside as Heero barked orders to head west, skimming as low to the lake as they could manage. 

Shenlong grazed the water, and the movement needed was so precise that Wufei had to manually route. The shore was approaching and even without orders from the Wing pilot, He pulled up sharply, Nataku grazing the water and sending walls of clear water around her as she ascended to cruising altitude. 

It didn’t take long for them to approach the safe house, and after docking in the hangar that was probably meant for a cute little biplane or two, Wufei descended his gundam in search of Heero. It wouldn’t do to lose sight of the man so close to their objective. 

When they reached the cabin, Quatre and Trowa were waiting outside. Heero reached for the door, but Trowa’s hand came around his wrist, grip a bit too tight to be friendly. “Heero, you should sit down.” Quatre gestured to one of the rustic rocking chairs that creaked gently as the breeze pushed them. Wufei could tell his partner was thrown off by the behavior of the other pilots when he flashed Wufei a look that said ‘be ready’ before he sat down as instructed, wrenching his wrist from Trowa’s deceptively strong grip. 

Quatre stepped up beside them, looking like he wanted to speak, but Trowa’s hand on his shoulder, gentle but firm, and the slight inclination of his head toward Wufei made him stop. Realizing they meant for him to break the news, Wufei swallowed hard and his hands clenched to stop them shaking. He stepped up in front of the chair, ready to restrain the other pilot if needed. “Heero, we haven’t been compromised. Winner and Barton found Duo. Alive. He’s here I presume. I don’t know details, only that he’s not-” 

Heero lunged forward, both hands at Wufei’s throat. They hit the wooden railing with enough force to hear it crack underneath them. Adrenaline surged through the raven-haired pilot and he gulped in a breath before his airway was cut off too far to get in a breath, but he didn’t fight. Wufei knew that now was the time to tread carefully. He met Heero’s anger-darkened eyes and forced what little breath he could out in a strangled whisper. “Couldn’t trust-” His voice cracked harshly as his airway was completely cut off. Wufei’s vision swam, and he caught the movement of the other pilots. “-your objectivity-” 

Wufei resisted the urge to gulp in air when Heero’s grip loosened briefly. “-or mine, ‘ro. If you- I wouldn’t have-” Wufei was interrupted by a strangled cry from the door and he fell into anguished violet, unable to breathe for an entirely different reason. Wufei thought he might vomit. Black eyes surveyed the man, apparently back from the dead. He seemed thin and weak, favoring his left side. His violet eyes were sunken and dark underneath, but Wufei could see the play of emotion in them. Fear, anger, relief, love. His eyes stung with hot tears and he sunk to the decking when Heero’s hands slipped from around his neck. He watched the two lovers kiss like the rest of the world no longer existed. 

In his haze, Wufei heard something about OZ cloning tech. Wufei really did vomit then, choking as he gasped for breath through his retching. What a sorry state he was in, buried in anger and jealousy, choking to death on his own vomit. Quatre said something about Duo having watched them when his clone died. Duo choked out that he’d had to watch it over and over. Wufei’s vision was going black and he put out a hand to protect his face from the ground. His hand came down on damp cotton over muscle and skin. 

Cool hands on his shoulders kept him from slumping forward into his own vomit, slowly running down the cracks of the deck and dripping to the brush underneath. Someone was murmuring into his hair. He wasn’t expecting Prussian blue drowning in tears. Heero was kneeling with one knee in the puddle of vomit, whispering apologies. Over his shoulder, Wufei caught Quatre and Trowa attempting to comfort a distraught Duo. “Go to him.” Wufei choked out. 

He couldn’t stand the hands on him, and attempted to pull away, but was hit with dizziness so strong that he let his head slump forward against that chest. Hot tears were dripping off his lashes to the thighs below him. Why was Heero still touching him? He had Duo. They had each other. He wasn’t needed now. Wufei hadn’t expected the knot that formed in his chest, and felt his cheeks and ears flame with shame when a strangled sob broke from his lips. 

Heero’s grip was nearly crushing Wufei’s hand, but he didn’t pull away. “Go!” Wufei snarled through his tears, just wanting them to leave until he could get a fucking grip. Obsidian eyes narrowed in disgust, mostly at himself, and he hoped it came across as intimidating. Heero hesitated and for a moment Wufei could see what the perfect soldier was thinking. Would Duo ever forgive them for leaving him behind? For not realizing that wasn’t the real Duo? They should have known. When had they even switched him for the clone? They had left him for nearly a year to be tortured. He should have known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so next chapter will get into the process of how Duo was cloned and why hopefully. Sorry this one was just a bit short.


	5. Chapter 5: Heero

Heero couldn’t figure him out. He knew the man must have been angry at his attack, but his eyes looked hollow in a way that told him the battle mask was back. Even so, Heero’s eyes met his in an unspoken plea for reassurance. Wufei must have known, because he slumped against him again and spoke into his ear. “He’ll know it wasn’t your fault. He’ll forgive you.” Wufei’s was trying to be encouraging, but Heero could hear the tightness in the other man’s throat and the hollowness in his eyes was still there when Heero pulled away. 

“Love you.” It was barely a whisper, but Heero needed to say it again because he could see there might not be another opportunity. Wufei was already pulling away, and after the way Heero had lost it with him, it was obvious why. He had almost killed the man. He had almost wanted to. At wufei's order to go, Heero finally left him to go to Duo. He pulled him close, just rocking the other man for a long time. When Duo quieted, Wufei was gone and Trowa was hosing off the porch. He glanced down at the vomit soaked knee of his pants and should have felt disgust where he felt the now familiar ache.

Much of the next few days were spent chatting quietly with Duo, trying to keep him confined to their room while he gathered up his strength. Heero was surprised at the ease with which they fell back into a relationship. He knew Duo needed to know about Wufei, but he was still too fragile. He was on antibiotics and antivirals and a cocktail of drugs to get him to sleep at night. Even then, he woke up every few hours. When they’d showered together, Heero had noticed the jut of ribs and hips, dark bruises across his torso, thick track marks that indicated the people keeping him drugged didn’t know what they were doing. 

The worst of it was his hair. Duo had broken down when Heero took it out of the customary braid to find it was thickly matted at the base and half a foot shorter at least. It was jagged and split at the edges like it had been burned. The thought had Heero shaking with anger. “I’ll kill them.” He spoke to himself as he did his best to untangle the mess and condition it. Duo had been uncharacteristically silent most of the days they spent holed up in Duo’s room of the safehouse, and flinched whenever Heero met his eyes. 

It was very early morning, the darkness providing shelter in the aftermath of a nightmare. Heero wasn’t sure which of them it had even been. He wanted desperately to seek comfort, guidance, in those violet eyes, but the flinching was the worst it had been. After the third time in as many minutes, Heero finally asked. “Why do you flinch like that? When I look at you?” Heero avoided meeting his eyes directly, but chanced a glance up at wide violet. “Damnit ‘ro, do we hafta get into it? They tortured me, okay? You know as well as I do how far they were willing ta go.” Duo’s hands were fiddling with the end of his braid, burnt ends swiping over his thumb. “Hn.” Heero didn’t want to push, but he also wasn’t going to let the man get out of talking. 

“They made me watch it, okay? When beatin’ me half ta death didn’t work, they sent in that fuckin’ clone they beat up ta match and made me watch the security feed. Watch yer faces-” His voice cracked and Duo took a deep shaky breath. Heero wanted to pull him in, hold the man and tell him he’d be there to protect him. That this wouldn’t happen ever again. But he was afraid Duo would stop talking then. 

“You looked so- and ‘Fei, Gods! He looked like when he woke up from the nightmares ‘bout his wife. ‘Ro, you both looked so broken I-” Heero pulled the man into his chest as he wept. It was enough for now. “Shhh, I’m here, love. You’re safe.” Heero ran a soothing hand over Duo’s back, whispering reassurances that turned into kisses against the shell of his ear. Duo moaned low in his throat, a mix of pleasure and despair that left Heero unsure of what to do. When Duo kissed him, it was rushed, needy and wet with tears. “Duo.” He cautioned. “We should wait-” Heero was cut off by chapped lips against his own, hard enough to bruise. 

Duo was too desperate for this to be okay. Gods how he wanted him but not like this. This wasn’t right Heero thought as he pushed gently on Duo’s chest to dislodge him. He was concerned for Duo, yes, but also a bit distracted by his own thoughts. He should be content as things were, but he hadn’t seen or heard from Wufei in days. He was worried, and Duo deserved his full attention when they did make love again. 

He felt guilty for something he couldn’t pinpoint. Duo didn’t know about Wufei. Heero knew he’d probably guessed at something, but he needed to know the extent of the… relationship they shared. He shouldn’t have waited so long to tell his braided lover. It was more than that, though. Heero felt the guilt that crept up at staying with Duo when Wufei ran off. They needed each other, but what about Wufei? 

He should have dragged the man back and explained to his love the things they had gone through together. The grief they had shared. The comfort they had gleaned from one another. The life they forged together in the wake of what they thought was one of the greatest losses either of them could suffer. How must he be feeling now, losing another love?

Duo had pulled back, finally taking in the way Heero was trying to keep him at bay and the deep scowl his love had etched across his face. Heero knew instantly Duo was feeling rejected and pulled him flush against his chest, careful of his healing injuries. “You’re safe and I love you with every part of me Duo. I didn’t know it was possible until you showed me. For me to love, I mean.” Duo’s eyes were wide and wet and full of wonder when he looked up at Heero from against his chest. “You really mean that.” 

When Heero nodded, Duo snuggled down into his chest, closing his eyes. “What happened b’tween you two, ‘Ro? I don’t blame you. I’d’ve gone for ‘im too, if things were the other way ‘round.” Heero smoothed a shaky hand over Duo’s braid, hand nearly slipping off the significantly shorter length. Duo was okay. He could handle hearing this, so Heero could handle telling it. Right? 

Heero took a few deep breaths, trying to stop his voice from shaking as he knew it would. He used to have so much control over his emotions, his expressions, his body. Duo had broken him down, and after his “death,” grief and Wufei had completely shattered his ability to hide around those he trusted completely. 

“I’ll tell you, but you have to be ready to hear things you might not want to. And you have to let me finish before you get hurt or angry. Please, Duo?” Heero hadn’t meant to let the desperation show in his voice, but he was so raw. Elated at having his Duo again, but he couldn’t shake the ache of loss from his chest. Wufei should be here with them, with him. The braided pilot gave him this tender smile Heero had never seen before and nodded, focusing his attention on the man and Heero knew he was meant to begin.

“Wufei was watching you too, your clone, when it died. I didn’t know if he could see yo-its face when it died. I don’t really have memories myself of it. His vomiting pulled me out of the spiral I was in. I wanted to die, wanted to kill every bastard on that base, but seeing him clearly as shaken as I was did something. I couldn’t leave him like that, and the clone was gone already. So I-” Heero looked up sharply when Duo’s trembling finally registered, but Duo gave a sharp shake of his head and motioned for Heero to continue. 

“After, we were both so...lost? We thought we’d lost our light leading us through this war. And the nightmares, oh Duo, they were worse than the real thing. I- I don’t know how either of us would have gotten through alone. It had been a couple weeks when this started. I could hear him in the next room, and I was alone in our bed and it still smelled like you.” Heero had to pause, choking down a sob. Duo shushed and soothed and encouraged him to keep going. “I brought him into our room. I didn’t think we should- I should be alone.” Heero stopped again. How should he explain that what drew him to Wufei that night was the pain they were both going through, the love they both felt? He didn’t want to betray Wufei, but Heero wasn’t sure Duo would ever know if he didn’t. 

“Wufei was as heartbroken as I was. I needed someone who knew, and not just through empathy.” Duo’s tiny gasp and the skeptical look in those violet eyes brought a chuckle to his lips as he continued explaining how he and Wufei had formed their bond. “Duo, he was sleeping in your clothes, we both were. In the same bed. We had to move on to another house. He brought your mug. How could I not let him in?” The look on Duo’s face was unreadable with how many emotions he seemed to be having all at once, but he could tell his love was curious now, rather than worried he could be replaced. He also looked a little confused hearing about this side of the raven-haired pilot. 

Heero recalled the night he knew he had feelings for Wufei, The childlike wonder in his eyes at the fireflies sparking up around them stirring something in Heero he hadn’t thought possible. He had been confused, too. Duo had been his one, his soulmate. Heero hadn’t thought there could ever be anyone else. But there was Wufei, soothing the hurt of their loss and taking Heero’s breath away all at once without even being aware he was doing it. 

He studied Duo, thinking back through his reactions thus far, and Heero was able to read him better now. Admiration, doubt, fear, affection, and something Heero didn’t have a name for were visible in the way Duo’s eyes didn’t quite meet his, the faint blush creeping up his ears and neck, his posture slightly turned in but still open to Heero. Attraction, he realized. Duo was feeling something for this Wufei he’d only gotten glimpses of. 

It was in that moment, Heero knew that some people were meant to have more than one soulmate, and that one could not stop his love for the other. It seemed so obvious now, having kept Duo close even as he opened himself to Wufei, love never wavering for the one he thought he had lost even as new feelings rose from the ashes of their loss. 

There was that phrase again. Their loss, their heart, their love. Duo had always been theirs together, shared between them without a second thought. Knowing just how deep each boy's feelings ran for the others only served to solidify this in Heero's mind. It had always been the three of them. Now he just had to take point, lead them together to come to the same conclusion. 

Duo would be open. He’d had unconventional relationships before. Heero could tell he was off balance, but after everything, how could he not be? “Are you okay?” He wanted to know what Duo was thinking outright, but wasn’t sure what to ask to get the answers he was looking for. “’m fine. Tired.”And then Duo ducked slightly, looking guilty. “Where’s ‘Fei anyway? I kinda forgot ta ask with ev’rythin how it is.” 

“He hasn’t come back. Gundam’s still here, but none of us have actually seen him since the day after we got here.” Duo’s eyes flashed from confusion to fear to red hot anger in seconds and he was throwing on jeans and pulling on his shoes before Heero could react. When he put out a hand to stop him, Duo growled and shoved it away. “Don’t. We have to find him. Now. What if he- ‘Ro, he thinks you don’t- that you abandoned him!” Duo’s anger seemed to subside a little when Heero started packing for an all night search. 

Duo was right. Heero had attacked him and then just fallen into life with Duo again, not even seeking the other pilot out later that night to apologize, to reassure. Wufei thought things were over and probably assumed Duo didn’t want anything to do with him now. Packed and dressed, Heero threw open the door and nearly plowed into Trowa, who looked appropriately startled but hadn’t moved from his path. 

“He’s-” Trowa’s eyes flitted from one to the other taking in the appearance of his friends. “Home.” He finished, eyes hardening as they met Heero’s squarely. “Got in sometime last night. No visible injuries, physically, but he’s… worn.” Trowa looked like he was going to say something else, but Quatre had come up the stairs to put a hand on his shoulder. Trowa deflated a bit, turning to his lover. “Help me with breakfast, love?” He nodded and started down the stairs. From behind him, Heero registered Duo tossing their equipment down on the bed and stripping off his boots. He stepped fully into the hall, pulling the door shut behind. 

Quatre looked down the stairs after Trowa, making sure he was around the corner before he spoke. “He’s, um, concerned for Wufei. And for Duo, too, I think. Just, be gentle, Heero.” His eyes were warm, but his voice betrayed his sadness, his worry. “They’ve both been through so much loss.” A hand brushed Heero’s cheek, the gesture catching him off-guard, and then he was staring at that blonde head as he bounded down the stairs and turned for the kitchen. Behind Heero, the door cam open slowly. 

“Duo...” Heero had turned and was searching his lover’s face for something. Duo seemed to understand the question Heero hadn’t known he was asking. He quirked a half smile and stepped toward the stairs. “Better go keep an eye on those two.” He gave Heero a wink, smile wide, and then sobered a little. “Want anything?” His eyes met Heero’s and Heero knew he had the permission he was seeking. “Bring something up for...” His eyes flicked to the room at the end of the hall they knew was Wufei’s. “the three of us. Just- I-” Heero gave up, giving Duo a pleading look. He needed a moment to make amends, if that was even possible. “Give it a minute. I know. Love you, Heero.” He was down the stairs and out of sight before Heero could respond. 

He took a deep breath and headed for the end of the hall, taking a deep breath and rapping his knuckles on the door before he lost his nerve. “Come.” The weariness in his voice sent out a pang of guilt blossoming in his chest. Wufei was propped up on a few pillows, looking exhausted, but the book in his hand told Heero he was having trouble sleeping. Wufei’s eyes went wide at the sight of him, but he didn’t flinch outwardly. Heero could see him already struggling to keep the mask in place. 

He stalked forward until he was at the foot of the bed Wufei was propped up in and reached over, taking the book that already slipping from the man’s fingers and placing it carefully on the shelf behind him. Heero wanted to speak, apologize, plead for his understanding, but no words would come when Wufei met his eyes. He had crawled onto the bed and was staring down at Wufei for a long moment before they both seemed to catch themselves. Heero blushed, cheek to chest flushing a soft pink, but he didn’t dare look away. “I-” Seemingly sensing what Heero was trying to say, Wufei shoved him back, hard enough that he had to grab at the other man’s waistband and tug hard to keep him from cracking his head on the shelf across from the bed. 

“Don’t-” He had pulled too hard and Heero came down hard against Wufei’s chest. Whatever the man under him had started to say was cut off by the force knocking the wind out of them both. They froze there, gasping for air, and the feeling triggered memories of them wrapped around one another panting in the dark that made them both groan. Heero pushed himself up onto his elbows. The anger that blazed in those dark eyes had gone, replaced with need and something Heero couldn’t identify. Heero found his voice then. “Wufei, don’t run again. Please!” 

That was all it took to break the man under him. Heero pulled him so they were both sitting up face to face and wound his arms around Wufei as tightly as he could, forgetting to worry about crushing him. Wufei choked out a sob, then a second so hard he practically convulsed. He clawed at Heero’s back and gulped in a few deep breaths, then he was quiet but trembling against Heero for a long time. “What are you doing Heero?” He whispered into the chest he was crushed against. Heero took a shaky breath in and spoke.


	6. Chapter 6: Wufei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled through some major writers' block to get this out. Sorry it took so long!

Wufei

Wufei let his resolve crumble. He’d left in an effort to get himself under control. Of course Heero would go back to Duo like this. From the moment he’d gotten the call, he knew he had to step back and let them come together like nothing had changed. Loving both so deeply, Wufei knew this was what was right. But the longing for them both wouldn’t settle, no matter how hard he tried to push it away. He couldn’t trust himself not to interfere and if they’d asked, he couldn’t lie to them. So he ran again, Duo’s words about running but never telling a lie guiding him.

But now that he was back, under the man he’d let himself love so deeply over the previous months, he let his walls drop. The effort of closing himself off was too great and Wufei wasn’t strong enough to hold it together. When Heero begged him not to run he allowed a shuddering sob to overtake him, a second heaving sob on its heels. Okay, that was enough. He clawed the man that held him trying to find some purchase to pull himself out from the well of his emotions. 

Safe with his face pressed into that strong familiar chest, Wufei allowed the words to escape him, meant to be a whisper but coming out almost a moan. “What are you doing Heero?” He already had Duo, who no doubt needed him right now. So why was he here practically pulling Wufei into his lap, rocking him gently? Surely he still wanted Duo! He wouldn’t forgive Heero if he left the man now after everything. Wufei was so deep in his thoughts that he’d forgotten the question he had asked until Heero began to speak, stopping and trying again when his voice cracked sharply on the first word. 

The reply was very quiet, but spoken with conviction. “Loving- loving you both.” Wufei felt the man’s embrace tighten around him until he thought bones would crack, not letting him look up. Hot drops came down onto his cheek, his shoulder, cooling as they ran down his skin. He thought for a moment, then nuzzled Heero gently, accepting the answer. Wufei pressed a kiss to his breastbone, the only skin he could reach from this position, before he lost his nerve and the tears raining down on him intensified. 

Wufei knew people could do this sort of thing. Knew Duo had done this sort of thing even, but Wufei had no solid example of it ever working out and no template to follow. His marriage had been easy enough, as easy as an arranged marriage to a strong, proud woman could be. He knew what to expect and what was expected of him. Even with Heero he’d had examples to follow. He’d seen Quatre and Trowa, and Heero and Duo together. “How?” he asked, pulling back when Heero’s grip finally loosened. If he really wanted to do this, they needed to discuss things, come to some sort of agreement? Arrangement? Solution?

He watched too bright cobalt shift from confusion to understanding to crinkled at the corners and Wufei realized Heero was smiling. Gods, he was breathtaking. Looking at the Wing pilot as he was now, Wufei was reminded of just how beautiful Heero had become to him in the months they were together. He’d always thought Duo was stunning. Anyone would. But before all this, he couldn’t see Heero in that way that made Duo’s breath catch when he walked into the room after a workout, rivulets of sweat running down into his loose tank, hair plastered to his face. 

Duo. He was here, alive, safe. And if Heero was letting him be alone, he must be doing considerably better than the day they had arrived. Wufei was overcome with the need to see him now, touch him, confirm for himself the state of the man they’d left there to be tortured thinking he was dead. They’d almost blown him up. Duo had been tortured with Heero’s reactions to the death of his clone and with Wufei’s weakness. He was across the room before it registered that his actions might give Heero the wrong idea and had to force himself not to run from the room. 

Heero seemed to understand though, and wufei was relieved when he came to stand with him near the door, guiding him off to the side. “Come in Duo.” The words confused him until he heard a startled clatter in the hall. The door swung open and over Duo’s shoulder, Wufei got a glimpse of the breakfast tray on the hallway floor, abandoned by the other man in favor of launching himself at his best friend. Arms coming to wrap tightly around his torso, head plowing into Wufei’s chest hard enough to knock the wind out of him. They would have fallen if not for Heero stepping up behind Wufei to steady them with his body. 

They stood that way for a beat and then Duo was pulling his head down and coming up to meet him. Eyes half-lidded, Duo’s gaze focused somewhere behind them before fluttering shut when their lips met. The world shattered around them and fell away, taking with it Wufei’s sense of propriety and justice, his fear of coming between the pair, and the last of his resolve to keep some kind of distance. The kiss was unexpectedly needy, hands pulling at the other frantically, bringing them as close together as possible. He registered the snap of elastic and Duo’s hair was falling around them in messy waves. Wufei’s fingers slipped through silky chestnut tresses, smoothing out the tangles as they kissed until his hand brushed another in the sea of waves.

The room crashed down around them and Wufei froze, once again aware of Heero behind them, still holding him up as they kissed. Duo pulled back, probably to check on him. Heero’s hand tightened its grip on that chestnut hair and Wufei watched Duo’s eyes go black with desire before he was crushed between the two, sharing their own searing kisses around him. It felt as though the two couldn’t stand to relinquish contact even when they wanted a moment together and Wufei felt warmed by the thought. 

He didn’t have long to contemplate things before his chin was being forced up and back. Heero took his mouth in a greedy, possessive kiss. Wufei felt himself jump and gasped into the kiss when a mouth latched onto his neck, teeth scraping in a way that would no doubt leave marks. The darker parts of his brain were supplying everything that could go wrong here, all the ways he could hurt the men giving themselves over to this strange connection. And how they could hurt him. They needed to talk. 

He was still struggling to grasp that Duo was really alive before Heero came in and completely turned his world upside down again with his admission. He loved them both, wanted them both. Wufei had never allowed himself to go down that path before, accepting that Duo was Heero’s and he’d learn to be happy as their friend. He hadn’t even given Heero a thought, romantically, at the time. 

Then Duo was in his arms holding him, kissing him, with Heero pressed up behind him. This was all too much. They really needed to sit down and talk things through. He should be stopping them, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak up. In the end, it was the tentative knock at the door that gave him the strength to pull himself mostly free. Duo was still clutching his arm like he might run when Heero called Trowa in. 

Wufei thought he actually might have run if not for Duo beside him as he watched the acrobat while he took in the scene before him. Books had toppled off the shelf by his bed. The bed itself was a mess of tangled sheets, his pillow discarded on the floor. Wufei thought he might have guessed there had been a fight if not for the state of the three of them were in. 

Heero’s clothes were rumpled, his lips were rough and swollen, almost bruised. Angry red scratches wound around from the back of his neck to just under the collar of his top. Duo’s hair was loose and disheveled and the collar of his shirt was ripped. His cheeks were flushed and wisps of hair were plastered to his skin with perspiration. Has hand was curled tightly around Wufei’s bicep, keeping him close. 

Wufei hadn’t been able to bring himself to look in the mirror to his side, but looking at the other two, he a pretty good idea of what he must look like. The glasses he had been wearing when Heero came in were nowhere to be seen. He could feel the marks Duo left throbbing, the belt of his robe was tucked into someone’s discarded shoe, and most of his hair had slipped free of the tie. He felt the heat of his own flushed skin from chest to ears and was vaguely aware that the thin pants he wore couldn’t be hiding his physical reaction. 

Quatre was suddenly dragging him out, muttering apologies and assuring them that he and Trowa would eat alone and save some fruit and sandwiches for them. The moment the door closed, Duo let him go and nearly doubled over with the intensity of his laughter. Strong arms wrapped loosely around Wufei’s waist and he heard the soft rumble of Heero’s chuckle beside his ear and felt the tickle of his bangs as he gave his head a tiny shake. “I still can’t believe he’s here.” Heero’s arms tightened around him just a fraction and Wufei felt himself relaxing into the embrace. 

He definitely felt that, too. In Heero’s arms, watching Duo laugh until tears were in those gorgeous violet eyes, Wufei wasn’t sure if he could believe this wasn’t all just a lovely dream. That he wouldn’t wake up alone in that safehouse after Duo’s “death.” The last few days had been such a roller coaster for all of them, and Wufei felt himself sag a bit in Heero’s arms. He was exhausted. Sleeping in his gundam and rushing off before sunrise the past few days had taken an unexpected toll. They had gone a bit soft without consistent missions or the other pilots there to push them. 

The other pilots. Wufei should talk to them. Apologize for his behavior, for puking all over the porch and leaving them to clean it, for not really filling them in when it came to Heero and himself. As much as he wanted to lock himself up here until long after Trowa and Quatre had gone to bed, he was done running. Not that he was looking forward to explaining whatever this was between the three of them before they had even properly figured it out. 

He managed to disentangle himself from Heero’s embrace only to step into Duo’s. “Not getting rid of us that easily, Wuffers.” He would have been irritated or felt guilty if not for Duo’s singsong tone. He opened his mouth to convince the other man that he needed to go downstairs but was cut off. “Damn, you look like shit ‘Fei. Did you sleep at all?” And then he was being stripped of his robe and top while Heero was passing over a pair of loose cutoff sweats for Duo. “You-” Heero growled when he leaned past Wufei to take the robe from Duo. “Are going to get in that bed with Duo and both of you are going to rest.” 

Wufei tuned in time to watch Heero’s eyes narrow at Duo. “Just rest. Both of you look exhausted.” And then he was shoving the bed across the room flush with the one Wufei had used earlier and Duo was crawling in and pulling him down after. He had a feeling Duo would have been annoyed at his partner’s order if it had only been directed at him. At that, Heero left the room, flipping off the light and turning the lock before he closed the door. 

The minute Heero was out of the room, Duo moved to straddle him, but stopped suddenly. “You really didn’t sleep, did you?” He flopped back over to lie on his side to face Wufei, and if he hadn’t been so absolutely exhausted, Wufei would have been disappointed. This new relationship might be confusing and leaving him feeling uncertain about so much, but Wufei knew he wanted more of that shock that set his nerves on fire when Duo touched him. 

“Fei?” Wufei realized that Duo had been waiting for an answer at the hint of concern in his voice. “Honestly, no. I spent some time napping in Nataku, but I left the hanger before daylight and didn’t return again until after midnight.” He had been careful to monitor the house for the first couple of days to avoid being caught. There was a long pause and a sigh, then Duo spoke so quietly that Wufei almost didn’t catch it. “Why didn’t you just leave?” 

“Ah...that is complicated.” How was he going to explain that he needed to see Duo, needed to make sure he was okay, but didn’t think he had the control to step away again? He wanted to go to them both and… what had he wanted? To beg them to accept him as part of their relationship? No. He’d been afraid he might though. “I needed time to get control of my emotions so that I could see you and resume being your friend without getting too- involved.” He took a shaky breath, thankful for the dark. “I wasn’t sure I could remain objective.” 

“But you’ve been in love with me basically forever, right? We’re best friends.” He smiled in Duo’s direction, knowing the man probably couldn’t see him. “Yes, but you were never mine. You were never obtainable. The closest I got to being with you was after-” Wufei paused to steady his voice and reached out to touch Duo, reassuring himself. “When we started sharing the bed the two of you slept in, When he gave me some of your things to wear, it felt like you had been mine, too.” Wufei shivered when Duo’s lips ghosted over his own, still so unused to the feeling.

“But he actually got to touch you, kiss you, right? It was easier to restrain yourself when you thought the other person didn’t, or couldn’t, want you back.” He whispered against Wufei’s mouth. “I didn’t think Heero would allow it either. I didn’t even think that you, you know, swung that way.” The confession hit Wufei with the force of a mack truck and the strangled sob that wrenched itself from his throat startled him more than it had Duo. 

He was crushed to Duo’s chest before the first tears could work their way down his cheeks. Wufei was sure he was blushing now. When had he become a sobbing, sniveling, child unable to control his own reactions. He was ready to pull away and gather himself elsewhere when the door creaked open and Heero slipped into the space behind him on the bed. Had he been waiting outside the door, listening? Wufei could only look on, horrified, as he instinctively turned into Heero’s embrace while Duo pressed himself flush against his back. 

“Shh, love. We’re here.” Heero’s voice was low and gentle and so full of tender feelings, something that never failed to surprise Wufei. For a while, all he could do was give himself over to the flood of emotions roaring through him. He was vaguely aware of the other two in bed speaking softly, but he couldn’t make out the words. He was aware of Heero gripping him tighter, trembling slightly. 

Finally, the tears slowed to the point that the raven-haired man thought he could croak out an explanation. As he was deciding how best to word things, he was hit with a wave of exhaustion was too great to resist. In no time at all, he was pulled into sleep, soothed by the warmth around him and the soft murmurs of his bedmates.


	7. Chapter 7: Duo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super short, pretty much purely smut. Isn't needed for the plot, but it is fun.

Duo

Duo wasn’t a morning person, but since he’d been “home” he hadn’t been able to sleep past daybreak. Side effect of torture. Normally, he’d wake up exhausted, irritated, and too hot. Waking up squished into the wall with blankets piled on him had never felt as satisfying as this. Wufei was curled into Duo’s chest, arm stretched out under the pillow Duo was resting on. His fingers were loosely closed around the shorter chestnut braid protectively. Heero was pressed in close behind him, sleeping deeply enough that he occasionally let out soft snores. His arm was draped over Wufei’s hip, with his hand curled into the waistband of Duo’s sweats. 

There was something odd about the way they had shifted around him. The way they were both curled in like that, as if sheltering him from the outside world. He squirmed toward them a bit, trying to shift his shoulder blade away from the wall, only to find two pairs of eyes intensely focused on him. Heero was already sitting up, and Wufei had lifted his head from Duo’s chest so that their noses were nearly touching. Shit. He must have had another of Maxwell’s famous nightmares. The ones that usually ended in more than one person needing stitches before they could wake him. Again, side effect of torture. 

Duo raised his free hand in a motion of surrender, propping himself up on one elbow. “Guys, I’m okay. I swear.” He let out a startled yelp when Heero reached around and pulled him chest to chest with Wufei, and sighed into his mouth when Wufei kissed him hard. He didn’t know if he should be proud or jealous of the bond the two had. They seemed to know what the other needed and how to deliver it without the exchange of words. In fact, they seemed to communicate better without them. He wasn’t sure how else it could be that the two had misunderstood one another so completely just days earlier, but were working as a team now. 

They kissed for a long moment, only pulling away when Wufei moaned and jerked his head to the side, revealing a head of messy brown hair at his neck. Duo wondered just whatever it was Heero was doing to Wufei’s throat that he liked so much. He ignored the pang of discomfort at Heero already knowing what would undo their normally tight-laced partner. Heero had him squirming now. Duo flushed and let out a hiss when Wufei jerked forward, unintentionally pressing their groins together. 

Dark eyes shot open and his bronzed skin took on a deep flush, but he didn’t pull away. He reached out, pulling Duo to him again, and this time the kiss was rough and hungry. Behind them, Heero was on his side, watching them with a strange little smirk turning up the corners of his mouth. When their eyes met, he mouthed “I love you.” and his expression softened for a moment. Duo didn’t have time to react before Wufei’s hand dipped into the front of his sweatpants, delicate fingers wrapping around him. 

Had his brain still been functioning, Duo would have wondered how it was that Wufei had become so bold. It wasn’t that any of them were particularly innocent or virginal. Maybe Quat, though Duo suspected he was probably a lot less innocent than he let on. I mean, they hadn’t really had a lot of time to socialize with their peers, being that they were teenage terrorists and all. But Duo hadn’t expected Wufei to let go like this. He was always so proper. Even the one time Duo had caught him with a girl at one of the schools they’d infiltrated, Wufei had been as proper as someone could be making out in an abandoned classroom. At the time, Duo hadn’t paid much attention, but thinking on it now, she’d had long chestnut curls and the prettiest violet-blue eyes. How long had it been that Wufei had wanted him? 

The hand around his erection began to move at the same time Wufei’s mouth dipped down and latched onto his clavicle and Duo heard himself gasp, then moan. A softer sound echoing his came from behind Wufei and Duo moaned again, realizing that Heero was watching them. Wufei kissed across to his other side to leave a matching mark and his hand slowed to an almost teasing pace. He didn’t seem to notice Heero at all. His cloudy eyes were focused only on Duo. Duo realized then that while Wufei was touching him, he had mostly just been clinging to the man’s shoulders. He let his hands slide up into Wufei’s hair, and was delighted when the raven haired man above him gasped against his skin. Emboldened by the reaction, Duo pulled him up and into a lingering kiss, gently guiding one thigh up over his legs so that Wufei could straddle him.

Wufei must have been more aware than he thought, because Duo found himself pinned fully then. Lips rough and demanding against his own kiss swollen lips, slim hips grinding down almost harshly. Hands slid under him, pulling Duo up flush against sweat-slick bronze skin and he found himself in just the right position to suck on one of the marks he’d left the night before. Wufei came undone then, hands white-knuckled at Duo’s hips, moans laced with mandarin swears, nearly tearing at the loose sweats Duo wore. 

“Please”

The choked sound was little more than a whisper, but Duo was looking around wildly for anything even close to lube. He had honestly forgotten about Heero until a small bottle was pressed into his hand. The man was resting on one elbow, free hand returning to palm his nearly purple erection, wearing that satisfied little smirk he’d caught earlier. Duo lunged in for a hard kiss before turning his attention back to Wufei. He held up the little bottle, suddenly unsure of how to proceed. Wufei took it, lubing a few fingers thoroughly and reaching around. “I can-” Duo started and nearly choked when Wufei slid himself up and pressed his cock to Duo’s lips while he prepared himself. Duo took him in without hesitation, savoring every groan and gasp he could coax from the man above him.

From the tremble in his hands and the deep flush of his skin, Duo knew Wufei was out of his comfort zone, but he assured Duo that this was what he wanted, what he needed. After last night, he needed to feel him this way, reassure himself that everything was real. Duo felt much the same. He needed the intense connection, too. Heero and Wufei had bonded through grief while he and Heero had drifted a bit simply due to trauma and time apart. And he’d never even been this close with Wufei. He was hurt and jealous and in love and excited all at once, and he craved this more than breath. 

After what felt like only a few seconds, Wufei pulled back, his cock leaving Duo’s mouth with an obscene pop that Heero seemed to really like. Over Wufei, Duo could see Heero stroking himself slowly, bottom lip caught between his teeth and the purple head of his erection dribbling precum. Feeling Wufei shift over him, Duo instinctively took one hip in his hand and his cock in the other, gently guiding him down before he’d realized what he was doing. Heero’s moan nearly covered up the sharp hiss Wufei let out as he impaled himself. Duo looked up, studying his face for signs of pain and found none. 

They sat for a moment, just leaning in close, breathing each other’s breath and watching one another. Wufei’s eyes were narrowed slightly, and almost glazed over, but he wore a gentle smile Duo had never seen before, and he had to distract himself with Heero for a second to keep from crying at the adoration evident on Wufei’s face. He was sure Heero caught the exact moment Wufei began to move on him, because the man let out a strangled sound and had to wrap his fingers tightly around the base of his cock and balls to stave off his orgasm. Duo was unexpectedly close himself. Wufei somehow managed to brush his prostate on the second or third motion down and spasmed around him, stilling for a few seconds.  
His breath was coming in harsh pants that were echoed by the others and his eyes were nearly closed. When he moved again, it was slow and deliberate, and Duo could feel him trying to calm himself. He wasn’t having that. Duo reached out and grabbed Wufei’s hips, lifting him almost off before plunging back down. Wufei’s head was thrown back and a hand was pressed over his mouth to keep from crying out loudly enough for the others to hear, but he slammed himself down again and again until Duo was the one begging and swearing. He reached for Wufei’s cock, stroking him with one hand and helped support him with the other while the raven haired man leaned toward Heero a bit, reaching to stroke him. 

That was all it took for Heero, and he came over Wufei’s hand with a low groan. Arching up off the mattress as Wufei continued stroking until he’d been milked dry. Duo was next when Wufei brought his hand to his mouth, slipping a cum-slick finger in and making a sound like he’d just tasted something wonderful. He came with a shout. Of what, he didn’t know, but Wufei clenched and spasmed around him, finishing almost immediately after. He slumped down against Duo, pressing their bellies together and grunting at the unpleasant sensation of cooling semen squishing between them. 

For a few long moments, there were only the harsh pants of the three men. Duo spoke first, but couldn’t quite articulate himself through the pleasure-induced haze. “Damn ‘Fei. That was- You were-” 

“Incredible.” That was Heero. Duo turned and grinned at the look on his lover’s face even as his vision blurred. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Heero look so serene, like this is where he wanted to be forever. They reached for one another at the same time, not caring that their hands were sticky with drying cum as they laced their fingers together. On his chest, Wufei was taking slow controlled breaths, and he realized the man was trying to stave off tears of his own. Duo’s free hand came up to stroke his cheek, and Wufei buried his face in Duo’s shoulder. 

They stayed that way until Duo was nearly asleep. Heero pulled them up and they all huddled together in the tiny hall bathroom shower, washing each other as best they could before falling into a freshly made bed. Duo would have to thank Quatre later, assuming his loves didn’t realize that they must have been heard and get all weird about sharing a room. Then he might have to murder the other man. Now that he had it, he wasn’t giving this up for anything. Sprawled out with Wufei curled in around one side and Heero pressed into his other as he drifted back to sleep, Duo wondered if this is what heaven felt like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. Thank you for all the love and support! Sorry for the continued delay. I DO intend to write the epilogue, but a lot has been going on. I was dealing with a really bad flare of my chronic health issues, my parents found orphaned 3 week old kittens and needed me to come live with them for three weeks to help with their feedings and other household stuff. 
> 
> During that time my Mum got really sick and had to have emergency gallbladder surgery. So I had to stay longer and help her while also caring for the kittens and dealing with my chronic illness. Spread throughout this, my girlfriend found a lump in her breast (her family has a history of breast cancer) and got passed off from her GP to a gynecologist, now to the hospital for a mammogram. Depending on those results, she will need more testing, possibly even treatment or surgery. 
> 
> I thank you all for your support once again, and appreciate your patience. I am so grateful to all of you who read this, not just those who comment. though I LOVE hearing from my readers. Hopefully I will be able to complete this soon. I've already got big ideas for a few more stories, both in this fandom and in others. Love you! 
> 
> ~Ash


	8. Wufei: Epilogue

Wufei felt the not so subtle rattle of floorboards as Duo bounded down the stairs of their shared apartment and braced himself for impact. When none came by the time he finished packing his bag, he turned, eager to see what chaos his partner and flatmate might be creating. 

He nearly jumped at the proximity of the braided former-pilot, cheeks split in an impossibly wide grin not more than a foot away. How was this beautiful idiot able to get so close to him without tripping any of his mental alarms? They’d all gotten more lax since the wars, thank the Gods, but this might be too lax for Wufei’s taste.

“Ready Wu-man? We’re officially students now. Normal, everyday, regular students.”

“Speak for yourself, Maxwell. I intend to be an exemplary student. And my name is still WuFei.” 

Wufei scowled, but it had long lost its menace with Duo, and the other man wrapped an arm tightly around his, and probably Heero’s shoulders, heading for the door. Pain flared up his arm and into his back. Sparks and blood and screams flickered in his vision, but he didn’t step out of the embrace. He chanced a glance at their other partner and found him in much the same position. They both knew it was best to just go along with Duo when he was like this. He must be nervous. Wufei wasn’t. 

He had studied diligently since he was just a small boy. He had trained himself to be an excellent warrior. He had won a war. He piloted and repaired advanced tech. And he easily kept his grades up, even with flitting from high school to high school. While fighting a war. Chang WuFei did not get nervous. 

“Hello? Anybody home? Fei?” Duo’s voice was loud and cheerful as always, but he could hear the strain of worry beginning to seep into his tone. 

His lover sounded so far away. He wanted to turn and glare at the other man, but he didn’t have control of his body just then. Wufei felt his breathing and pulse spike. Okay. Maybe he was nervous. 

“Duo. Stop.” That was Heero. 

Suddenly space blue eyes were in front of him. A rough hand was brushing Duo’s arm away and for a moment he felt like he was back in free fall, back in space. The clash of his Gundam slicing through countless enemies rang in his ears. He could smell oil and coolant and blood. 

But then he was sitting right there on the cool tile floor, lost in cobalt, trying to catch his breath. Heero was speaking to him but Wufei couldn’t make out the words, his voice barely above a whisper. His voice suddenly shifted and Wufei knew he was talking to Duo. 

“You’re going to be late. You should go.”

“I’m not leaving now ‘Ro. Are you crazy? What if he flashes back again? We’re in an apartment complex with other people. You saw how he was last time. I almost couldn’t- I’m not leaving.” 

He was aware of Heero’s soft voice again, still unable to make out the words. A steaming mug of soothing chamomile and honey was pressed into his hands. He could smell Duo’s shampoo. Screams echoed around him, Duo’s louder than the rest. 

Looking for the source, his eyes settled first on Duo’s face, dirty and contorted and streaked with tears. Then swept down to his leg where the bone jutted out uncomfortably from his shin. There was blood pouring off a cut on Heero’s face. Trowa, barely able to stand himself, was ordering them to hold Duo down. Wufei cradled his left arm against his chest and used his right to press all of his weight down into Duo’s left shoulder. Quatre was on the other side, sobbing between words meant to comfort the braided pilot. 

His eyes met Heero’s. Well, the one visible under all that blood as he held Duo’s thigh. He looked ill. Then Duo was screaming, his whole body jolting up, sending shocks of pain up his arm and into his back. There was a sickening crack, the sound of someone retching, Duo’s soft sobs. Wufei pulled the pilot’s head up into his lap with his one good hand, and Heero was there murmuring softly next to Duo. 

Heero was holding Duo and now he was the one sobbing. Dull, dead eyes stared at wufei from Heero’s lap. Wufei tried to go to them, but the chain on the wall yanked him back, dislocated shoulder throbbing. All he could do was watch Duo’s dead eyes come in and out of focus as Heero sobbed and he himself blinked away tears. 

The soft sniffling sobs slowed and stopped and Wufei felt the pain in his shoulder ease. Then there was a blanket around him and somehow he was in Duo’s room. Usually only cluttered, it felt the most lived in. The most like home. But now, the room looked like it had been raided. The covers were torn and mostly in a pile on the floor next to the huge bed they usually shared. Desk overturned, the front panel ripped off a drawer in the dresser, blood and glass all over the floor. He could hear muffled voices. They were outside the door. 

Wufei’s hand felt sticky and warm. He realized he was holding a large shard of glass. The voices were clearer, closer. Heero and Duo. This was Duo’s room in the apartment they shared.

“Are you sure we don’t need Sally? Q maybe? He’s got Trowa, so he’s good at this PTSD thing.” Duo sounded almost frantic. He wanted to get up and go to him, but his legs felt like agar gel that had failed to properly set.

“No. He wouldn’t want them to see this. It’s over anyway.” Heero’s tone was firm but tender. 

“But ‘Ro, y’shoulda seen-” 

Both men paused when he pulled open the door, still kneeling on the floor. Duo, who was in Heero’s lap on the floor against the wall opposite the doorway Wufei was in, jolted up and was wrapping his arms around Wufei’s neck in an instant. The smell of his shampoo made Wufei dizzy and threatened to send him back again. He pressed gently on Duo’s chest, forgetting about the still oozing cut on his palm until it prickled at the pressure. 

“Off. Please. Your hair, I cant-that shampoo. It’s the same as-I can’t Duo.” Wufei’s throat ached and his voice sounded hoarse, even to his own ears. Duo looked like he’d been struck, but he stepped back, offering a hand up instead. Wufei took it with his bloody hand. He couldn’t risk the shoulder on his left again just yet. 

Heero wrapped an arm around Duo from behind and whispered in his ear to go start the shower. 

“Use mine, Duo. My shampoo, you can use it instead of-what?” Duo was grinning at him, eyes shining just a little too much. He suddenly looked very unsure, much younger than his nearly 22 years, but his grin was cocky as ever. Wufei followed his eyes as he looked to Heero, who gave a little nod.

“Wanna come with? You’re all sweaty...and bloody.” 

Wufei’s first instinct was absolutely not, no way in hell would he shower with Duo. And it wasn’t because he was a prude or anything. They were together. They’d had sex even, so it wasn’t that. That was just private, somehow too intimate now, even though he’d done it before these episodes had started. Besides, Heero and Duo didn’t even shower together much and they had been involved the longest. 

Heero pinched the bridge of his nose, but his tone was gentle. “You both need it. I’ll email our professors with an excuse, unless you’d prefer I just go in and change attendance records? 

Wufei still wasn’t sure, but Duo was tugging him down the hall and Heero had already begun heading downstairs. 

“Don’t Heero. We don’t need the university to be any more suspicious than they likely are with Winner having paid for it all.” He called down, hoping Heero could hear through the already closing bathroom door. He rested his forehead against the closed door and flipped on the vent fan when he realized the painted wood was slick with steam already, stalling for time.

“It’s too late, you know. He already had to mess with their system to get us all in, even with Q’s money. Technically we haven’t graduated high school.” 

The curtain rattled and Duo groaned, clearly enjoying the spray. Wufei was just about to leave when a head of impossibly long, dark, and sopping wet hair popped out. Wufei was suddenly struck with the urge to run his fingers through it again. He definitely shouldn’t be doing this. 

“Hurry up. I need you to untangle an elastic from my hair. Please, WuFei?”

Before he knew what he was doing, he was stepping in behind Duo, burying his hands in wet and tangled, but impossibly soft hair. The scent was still threatening to send him back again, but the sensation of the too-warm water and Duo’s soft hair kept him grounded. Progress. 

Normally deft fingers fumbled with the knots, acutely aware that the other man didn’t let anyone, save himself and Heero, touch his hair. After he came back with his hair chopped and burnt, it was rare that he even wanted them to touch it. This had always been special, but after having denied himself when it was offered for so long out of fear, it was incredible. 

His bottle of shampoo was clumsily thrust over the other man’s hair, and he began working some into Duo’s hair to untangle it. After another five minutes, Duo’s hair was clean and mostly tangle free. He rinsed while Wufei hastily washed himself, accidentally scrubbing open the cuts on his hand again. He was just about to wash his own hair when Duo’s hand came to rest on his arm, stilling his movement. 

“My turn to do you! You’re bleeding again anyway.” 

Wufei didn’t recall anyone washing his hair for him, even as a child. Even Heero when they were at their worst right after the clone. He thought it might feel uncomfortable. And it did, but only because it felt so good that he shivered and tilted his head back further to make it easier on Duo, allowing him close when Wufei still felt so vulnerable to triggers. 

He was nearly asleep on his feet when Duo moved him into the cooling spray, quickly rinsing the strands clean. They smelled of citrus and clove and the honey and oat soap Duo insisted was the best for their skin. A soft towel, fresh out of the drier was wrapped around him, and Duo pressed a kiss to the shell of his ear.

“Hey, Fei? Thank you. I missed this.” His voice was thick with emotion, but Wufei didn’t let himself shy away. Duo was safe. He was safe. It was okay to be vulnerable with the people you loved. 

Duo was safe. 

It was the first time in months that Wufei believed it so soon after a flashback. And the first time Duo himself had been able to stand being around after. He still felt uncomfortable, overexposed, but Duo’s sweet smile was making it easier to push past the discomfort at showing the man this weakness. Weakness Duo felt was brought on by him.

Wufei knew the other man blamed himself and felt jealous that Heero was the one who he would seek out during an episode. So he just stopped talking about it, she them both out little by little. Avoided Duo when he thought the man might trigger him. Avoided Heero when he wanted to try and ground Wufei, bring him back to the present. Avoided feeling vulnerable, weak. Avoided intimacy of all types. 

But things were different now. He was working on things, pushing himself to be open. And seeing Duo so thrilled made him feel like it was worth the effort. If it made Duo happy, anything was worth it.

They came downstairs in their damp towels to fetch Heero. It was already late and he and Duo both had classes in the morning. He tried to send them both on ahead, saying he’d cleaned up the mess in Duo’s room, but sheets still needed to be put on the bed. Wufei stayed behind, watching his other lover as he triple checked the door to the stairwell and to the balcony.

“Heero, they’re locked. I can see from here. And the alarms are both set. We’re safe here. He’s safe here.” 

Wufei brought his lips to Heero’s in a much needed kiss, reassuring the both their bond was still there. It wasn’t just the need to protect Duo, though they were both feeling that rather intensely in that moment. Hand in hand they took the stairs two at a time, eager to get to Duo. 

Settled in bed, Duo in the middle with his head pressed into Wufei’s chest, the day’s stress was receding and Wufei had time to quietly reflect on how far they’d all come since the war, even though days like this made it feel like maybe they hadn’t made any progress at all. Until they got through it. 

It felt like no time had passed since they were just five scrawny, damaged, frightened boys with no direction after the war. But together they rose from the ashes and rebuilt themselves into something they could be proud of in just four years. He had a feeling it was all for or because of Duo. For all of them. As long as he was alive, they could keep it together. Even after all this time he was the driving force behind them all. And as stubborn as he was, they might just be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I had intended to write the last two chapters in Duo’s perspective, but after the few months I’ve gone through irl, I ended things a bit differently. I my add more side stories, or different perspectives on existing chapters though. But for now, this is the end. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me through the disorganized chapters and long break. Your encouragement has really been amazing and this is such a wonderful fandom to be part of. Love you all! Hope you enjoyed it.


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